Domestic Violence Safety Plan: What You Need To Know July 4, 2022

A domestic violence safety plan is a personalized plan for what you will do in the event of abuse. Your plan should describe what steps you will take to stay safe throughout your life, whether you live with your abuser or not.

There are multiple things you should do if you think someone you know is in an abusive relationship or in an abusive relationship yourself so that you can get out safely when the time comes. We hope this information will be of help when thinking about creating a domestic violence safety plan.


If you are being abused, know that the abuse is NOT your fault.

Abuse happens when someone or something causes another person to feel unsafe or threatened in their own home. It’s when one person uses power and authority to control another person's actions and thoughts. Abuse is often characterized by intimidation, threats, and physical violence, and it can happen at any age and in any relationship, whether it's a parent-child relationship, an intimate partner relationship, or an employer-employee relationship.

If you are being abused, know that the abuse is NOT your fault. It can be hard to hear this at first, but it's true: no one deserves to be abused by anyone. You are not responsible for the violence or abuse you are experiencing. It is not your fault that someone is hurting you or that you have been made to feel unsafe in your own home.

Abusers often justify their behavior by saying that their victim deserved what was happening because of something they did or said before their relationship started (for example, a previous relationship or another person). It's important for victims of abuse to remember that abusers will say whatever they have to in order to make themselves feel justified in their actions toward others.

It's important to remember that abuse is never acceptable in any form. It's never okay for a parent to hit their child; it's never okay for an employer to threaten or intimidate employees, and it must never be tolerated in any type of relationship—whether romantic or not!

Violence against women stops here.
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Identify any potential dangers in your home or neighborhood.

If you're a domestic violence victim, there's a lot to consider when it comes to safety. First, identify any potential dangers in your home or neighborhood.

WomensLaw.org establishes that during the time the abuser is exerting violence, the victim of abuse should;

  • Be aware of anything the abuser can use as a weapon. If you can, try and keep any sharp or heavy objects that s/he may use to hurt you, like a hammer or an ice pick, out of the way.
  • Know where guns, knives, and other weapons are. If you can, lock them up or make them as hard to get to as you can.
  • Figure out where the “safer places” are in your home – the places where there aren’t weapons within arm’s reach. If it looks like the abuser is about to hurt you, try to get to a safer place. Stay out of the kitchen, garage, workshop or other room where items that can be used as weapons are kept. Try to avoid rooms with tile or hardwood floors if possible.
  • If there’s no way to escape the violence at that moment, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball. Protect your face and put your arms around each side of your head, wrapping your fingers together.
  • Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry. The abuser could use these things to strangle you.

While you may think that the people in your life are looking out for you, it can be easy to forget about the people who aren't related to you and don't care about what kind of protection you need. For example, if you live in an apartment complex with other families, it can be easy for someone to become jealous of how much time you spend at home with your kids. They might get angry and try to hurt them on purpose—or they might even take out their anger at something else in their lives by hurting them. So keep an eye on everyone around you!

Build a relationship with a domestic violence organization in your community.

Domestic violence is a serious problem that affects all communities. If you are not in an abusive relationship, you may feel like you don't have the right to ask for help, but this is not the case. Domestic violence organizations will be able to help you get through this difficult time and get back on your feet.

They will help you get connected with the services you need and make sure your needs are taken care of. They can also help answer questions about how to protect yourself from further abuse, as well as any legal issues that might arise.

National Domestic Violence Organizations
National Domestic Violence Organizations x HelpYouFind.Me

It's important to know that there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to domestic violence shelters and services. You may find that certain organizations offer more support than others, depending on what kind of resources they offer, their location or staffing levels, or other factors like this. In general, though, it's best if you feel comfortable with who is providing your services before agreeing to sign up for any type of relationship or program with them.

Keep a copy of important documents and items where you can get them quickly (or give them to a trusted friend or family member).

As a domestic violence victim, you should keep a copy of important documents and items where you can get them quickly (or give them to a trusted friend or family member). This will ensure that you have your important documents with you at all times so that if something happens to the abuser, you can take immediate action. You should also keep copies of all of your financial records and any other important documents.

In addition to keeping copies of your important documents and items in a safe place, it is also vital that you keep track of who has access to those things and when they are accessing them. You should also make sure that all household members know how to reach out for help in an emergency situation, which is why we highly recommend having HelpYouFind.Me as a personal safety tool available and accessible wherever you go.

At HelpYouFind.Me we’ve developed a unique end-to-end encrypted system that allows you to easily and securely share private data with trusted friends and family members, so they can help you find the help you need when you need it most, from copies of all your personal documents, such as birth certificates, Social Security numbers, wills, passports, drivers license, car plates and so much more, to all account credentials for all your important services like your cell phone, banking, email, social media accounts, etc.

Here you can also set your own “If I Go Missing File” in case you go missing, with instructions on what should be done, any physical details, emergency contact information, addresses, and more. We know this type of information is hyper-sensitive which is why only you can choose who to share it with and the wait period each person you share it with must wait before gaining access to it. Each person you share with is unique and the data is encrypted specifically for them. Only they can read this data and our system will only allow them access to it following the rules that you set for them.

Set your own “If I Go Missing File” with HelpYouFind.Me
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Once you’re in a safe place, you can also safely update those you trust the most through the Friend Feed, where you can upload pictures, text posts, trip details like flight itineraries, hotel reservations, and other information. You can also share your current location and pictures with our HYFM Telegram Integration Bot, in which anything you want to post on the Friend Feed can be auto-approved in case you’re in an emergency situation incapable of taking an extra second to approve an update.

Learn more about how HelpYouFind.Me works right here.

Remember that abusers often escalate their tactics when their partner tries to leave. Be very alert during this time.

Abusers often escalate their tactics when their partner tries to leave. This can include things like threatening you or your children and even hurting them physically or emotionally. And if you are leaving because of domestic violence, the abuser may become more aggressive toward you than ever before.

It is important that you remain very alert during this time—if you feel threatened in any way, get help immediately. If possible, seek shelter and safety away from your abuser until things calm down.

Abusers will try to isolate you from family, friends, and co-workers by spreading rumors about you. They may also threaten your pets or property, keep guns in the house, or make phone calls late at night to make sure no one is home. They may also try to control where you go and who you talk to. Make sure your phone is password protected and that no one can find out who is calling you on your cell phone.

If your abuser is threatening or hurting you or others, call the police immediately.

When making a plan, include options for your children and pets.

Safe options for children and pets.
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If you've been the victim of domestic violence, you're probably feeling a lot of emotions. You may be scared, angry, and confused. If you have children or pets, it's important to take some time to make a domestic violence safety plan that includes options for those loved ones.

In order to make a domestic violence safety plan that includes options for your children and pets, there are three things you need to know:

1) How can we keep ourselves safe?

2) What will we do if our abuser tries to hurt us?

3) Where can we go for help?

Your plan should include options for shelter and medical care so that if you are suddenly unable to care for yourself or your children due to an attack, they will not be left without a place to go. You should also consider including options for food, clothing, and transportation in your safety plan.

If you are able to move out of the home with your children or pets, then it is best to find another location where they will be safe from abuse. It is also important that this new location has good lighting and a monitored security system so that if something happens at night when it's dark outside, there will be someone nearby on whom you can call for help if needed.

Other options you should also consider are:

  • Having a designated driver or someone who can pick up your kids at school if they're not with you during the day.
  • Emergency cash reserves for unexpected expenses like car repairs or medical bills.
  • Child care or pet sitters when needed (and regular communication with childcare providers about when they need changes made).

Takeaway

Developing a safety plan takes time but is key for the safety of you and your family.

A safety plan does not have to be complex; in fact, the simpler it is, the easier it will be for you to remember. That said, developing a safety plan takes some time and effort. You must first identify your personal risk factors and then come up with strategies to minimize or eliminate them. You'll also need information about where potential safe places are, how to get there, and who to call along the way. Asking for help is a sign of strength and can empower you with the confidence you need to save your family.

If you are experiencing any violence it is important to take steps now before the problem escalates. The road to creating a comprehensive plan is difficult but once developed it can be an effective tool against your abuser's attempts to control you or harm you.

Written by
Adriana Lopez

Adriana Lopez

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